Care for Caregivers

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Caregiving Wellness

About Caregivers

I am a caregiver. And if you’re reading this article, chances are you’re a caregiver, too, or know someone who is. About 1 in 3 adults in the United States is an informal or family caregiver. Caregivers are people who provide support and assistance to others in times of need. Whether caring for an aging parent, a child with a disability, a chronically ill spouse, or a healthcare patient, we caregivers often find ourselves dedicating our time and energy to others who count on our support. However, this noble undertaking can take a toll on our well-being.

I know firsthand how caregiving can cause physical, mental, and emotional strain. As a single mom of a boy living with chronic illness and disability, I often feel like I can never do enough for him, and that I am lapsing on all my other responsibilities. Because I couldn’t stand feeling like a failure all the time, I needed to learn how to care for myself…first. It took a while for me to realize that I can’t do it all, nor am I expected to. And that’s ok.

This article contains some of the feelings I’ve felt and some of the steps I’ve incorporated into my self-care ritual to help me keep a sense of balance. I hope you find it helpful, too.

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The Challenges Caregivers Face

We caregivers experience a unique set of challenges that can impact our physical, emotional, and social well-being. These challenges often go unnoticed and underappreciated, leading to us feeling burned out, stressed, and overwhelmed. How many of these challenges sound familiar?

Balancing Multiple Roles: Chances are you’re not just a caregiver, you’re also trying to make a living and a life. You may feel pulled in a million different directions, sometimes feeling paralyzed by what to do and when to do it as you’re juggling all your roles and responsibilities. How many times have you felt inadequate, like you’re not doing a good job at anything, or felt like you just wanted to give up? The sense of overwhelm is real and totally understandable.
Emotional Stress: You may be caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia, autism, cancer, or a critical heart condition. The love you feel for the person coupled with the worry you feel for their health can be too much to bear. It’s no wonder that we caregivers often experience emotional stress, anxiety, or depression. We embody the constant demands of caregiving, the fear of making mistakes, and the grief related to our loved one’s condition.
Physical Exhaustion: Running errands, lifting, bathing, restraining, and providing mobility assistance can take its toll on our bodies. Many of us experience headaches, dizziness, and sore muscles along with insomnia and chronic fatigue. The work can literally wear us out.
Social Isolation: Social life? What social life? We caregivers often give up the joy of spending time with others because we’re just feeling too tired and frumpy. We’d rather Netflix and chill on our own. Maintaining friendships and intimate relationships becomes a real struggle. That’s when loneliness creeps in. We feel like we’re on our own, and no one gets it — no one understands what we’re going through. Keeping everything inside can cause us to slip into an isolated state of depression.
Financial Strain: The cost of caregiving can be substantial. It may include the cost of medicine, medical supplies, special equipment, groceries, housing, housekeeping…the list can go on and on. According to a report by AARP, caregivers spend an average of $7,000 annually on caregiving-related expenses, contributing to financial stress and potential hardship. I personally found myself quitting jobs or taking part-time contract jobs so I could dedicate more time to caretaking, which is very common. Paying for extra necessities while earning reduced income is a recipe for financial stress.
Lack of Respite: Who among us can find exactly the right help to step in when we need to take a break? Probably not many. Oftentimes we feel like it would be too difficult to train someone to step in. Or perhaps the person we’re caring for is very particular about their care. Or maybe we’re afraid to ask anyone for help because we don’t want to inconvenience anyone else. So we take it all on ourselves. We don’t give ourselves the breaks we need to rest and recharge.
Health Risks: We’re so caught up in taking care of others that we neglect our own health. We can’t relax. We forget to eat, or we binge on comfort food. We don’t exercise regularly. We may start drinking or taking pills. We caregivers are ironically susceptible to our own health issues when we pour from depleted cups.

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A Closer Look At Caregiver Health Risks

The health risks associated with caregiving are real. Several studies have shed light on the extent of these risks, highlighting the need for better support and self-care strategies for caregivers.

Increased Risk of Chronic Health Conditions: Caregivers are at an increased risk of developing chronic health conditions, such as hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease according to JAMA Internal Medicine.
Mental Health Impact: A 1999 study published in the American Journal of Public Health reported that elderly spousal caregivers have a 63% higher mortality rate compared to non-caregivers, mainly due to emotional and emotional stress-related issues, including depression.
Cognitive Decline: Research published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society has shown that caregivers who provide care to individuals with dementia may experience a more rapid cognitive decline themselves.
Sleep Disturbances: Caregivers frequently experience sleep disturbances, with 54% reporting poor sleep quality in a study published in the Journal of Sleep Research.

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Self-Care Tips for Caregivers

As caregivers, we have to take radical responsibility for our own self-care, without guilt, blame, or shame. It starts with little steps that we can easily incorporate into our own daily routines. I like to call them bites of wellness because they help to prevent me from reaching for junk food or that glass of wine. Habits that are formed out of well-being will cumulatively stack up to a lifetime of wellness and will nourish you long-term. Here are some tips you may find helpful:

Be Kind To Yourself: Acknowledge and celebrate the small victories and positive moments in your caregiving journey. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. You are doing your best in a very challenging situation, and you are doing it because you love and you care, not because you need appreciation.
Adopt Realistic Expectations: Remember that you are only human. Accept that you cannot do everything. Stay in the present moment and set achievable goals for yourself and your caregiving responsibilities.
Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your daily routine to reduce stress and stay grounded. Consider holistic approaches such as yoga, breathwork, journaling, and relaxation techniques that can be effective in reducing stress and promoting mental well-being. Explore mindfulness and relaxation apps like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer, which offer guided meditations and stress-relief exercises you can do in your own time. Check out The Human Beauty Movement Class Library for pre-recorded classes on meditation, breathwork, hypnosis, and tapping that can help with stress management.
Take Short Breaks: Whenever you can, take short breaks during the day to stretch, relax, breathe, or engage in a quick stress-relieving activity.
Maintain a Healthy Diet: Ensure you are eating well to sustain your energy levels and overall health. Eat the colors of the rainbow (and I don’t mean Skittles). Incorporate more living, nutrient-rich foods into your diet. Avoid sugary snacks and beverages that can lead to irritability and energy crashes. A registered dietitian can provide guidance on nutrition tailored to your specific needs.
Stay Active: Incorporate regular physical activity into your routine, even if it’s just a short walk. Exercise can reduce stress and improve your mood. Boost your serotonin by getting enough sunlight during the day to absorb natural Vitamin D. Choose activities that are enjoyable and suitable for your fitness level and schedule.
Get Adequate Sleep: Prioritize sleep by maintaining a consistent sleep schedule and creating a comfortable sleep environment. Avoid caffeine late in the day. Keep your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet. Don’t fall asleep with the TV on. Invest in a mattress, pillows, and sheets that feel good to you.
Maintain Hobbies and Interests: Continue engaging in activities you love, even if it’s on a smaller scale. Hobbies provide a mental escape, cultivate your creativity, and feed your joy. Do not feel guilty, or guilted, about taking time to do the things you love and making choices that are right for you. Your life is not built upon sacrifice — it’s built upon you being you, doing everything you’re doing, because you love yourself first.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between your caregiving role and your personal life. It’s essential to carve out time for yourself. Consider reading self-help books that offer guidance to caregivers, such as “The 36-Hour Day” by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins or “The Caregiver’s Survival Handbook” by Alexis Abramson.
Keep Up With Friends & Family: Reach out to friends and family regularly to share your feelings and experiences. Talking to others who understand can be cathartic and provide some emotional relief. It also prevents those feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Connect with Other Caregivers: Joining a local or online caregiver support group can provide a sense of community and a safe space to share experiences, seek advice, and receive emotional support. Organizations like the Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA) and AARP offer resources and information on support groups.
Lean Into Community: Local community and faith-based organizations often provide services and support to caregivers. They may offer practical assistance, such as meal delivery or transportation services, as well as emotional support through support groups and counseling.
Become a Thought Leader: Educate yourself about your loved one’s condition. Knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions and reduce anxiety. Enroll in caregiving education and training programs to enhance your caregiving skills and knowledge. The Family Caregiver Alliance and AARP often offer online courses and workshops. National organizations like the American Cancer Society, and the National Alliance for Caregiving offer extensive resources, including information, webinars, and toolkits for caregivers.
Leverage Technology: Explore caregiving apps and technology that can help you manage care tasks, track medications, and connect with healthcare professionals. Apps like CaringBridge and Lotsa Helping Hands can be helpful. Check out websites such as Caregiver Action Network (CAN) and Caring.com. These sites offer information, articles, and discussion forums to help caregivers connect with others and access valuable resources.
Use Respite Care: Seriously, respite support will allow you to recharge and reduce stress. Be ok with having others step in. Ask a friend to step in when you need it or see if there are any other family members available to pitch in and develop a routine. If those aren’t viable for your situation, contact your local Area Agency on Aging or healthcare provider for information on respite care options. Utilize respite care programs that offer temporary relief by providing trained caregivers who can take over caregiving responsibilities for a short period.
Keep Up with Regular Checkups: Don’t neglect your own health. Visit your healthcare provider for routine checkups and screenings. That means your dentist to get your teeth cleaned and your doctor for annual physical exams. Get your mammograms, pap smears, prostate and colon and eyes checked. Remember to take your own meds. Discuss your own health concerns and stress levels with them, as they may be able to provide guidance or referrals to support services.
Consider Therapy: Consider individual counseling or therapy to address emotional issues, such as depression and anxiety. A mental health professional can provide guidance and coping strategies tailored to your specific needs. You can find therapists through organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or by using directories like Psychology Today.
Be Aware of Emergency Options: If things become critical for you, many organizations offer helplines and hotlines for caregivers to seek immediate support or information. The Alzheimer’s Association provides a 24/7 helpline for dementia caregivers, while the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers assistance for those in crisis.
Consider Legal and Financial Support: Consult an attorney or financial advisor who specializes in elder law to address legal and financial matters related to caregiving, such as estate planning and access to benefits. Seek financial planning advice to help you manage the costs associated with caregiving and explore potential financial aid programs, such as Medicaid or Social Security benefits.
Check Out Government Assistance Programs: Investigate government programs like Medicaid, Medicare, and the Veterans Administration (VA) for potential financial and healthcare support for both the caregiver and the care recipient. Local social services agencies can also provide information on available programs.
Employer Assistance: If you’re employed, check with your employer to see if they offer employee assistance programs (EAPs) or flexible work arrangements to help you balance your caregiving responsibilities and work.
Practice Optimism: Close your eyes and reflect on 3 things you’re grateful for today. Make sure they are different from the things you were grateful for yesterday. Think about things that make you smile. Remind yourself that you have everything you need to handle anything life throws at you. Remember to cultivate your own sense of positivity and self-love.

As caregivers, we can only help others if we care first for ourselves. If we start feeling bitter about our situation or resentful toward the person we’re caring for, it’s a sign we are over-extending ourselves. It’s totally cliché, but true: self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for both you and the well-being of your care recipient. Don’t hesitate to seek support and resources to help you manage the challenges of caregiving while prioritizing your own mental and physical health.